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Looking back at my journey – from being a teenage mom, through difficult marriages, to finally finding true happiness with Romain – there are so many lessons I wish I’d learned earlier. Today, I want to share some real insights from my experiences, hoping they might help someone else avoid some of the heartache I went through.
Trust Your Intuition
One of my biggest regrets was ignoring my gut feelings. With Drew, there were warning signs from the start – like that incident at our wedding when he and his mom got into a fight and threw wine glasses. I brushed these moments aside, making excuses or blaming myself. Now I know that when something feels wrong, it usually is.
Your intuition is your best protection. I remember when things started feeling off in London, how my body would tense up before Drew came home. Those physical reactions were trying to tell me something I wasn’t ready to hear.
Recognizing Red Flags
Through therapy and self-reflection, I’ve learned to recognize some major red flags:
– Someone who tries to control your finances
– Partners who isolate you from friends and family
– Inconsistency between words and actions
– Anger management issues
– Manipulation through guilt
– Refusing to take responsibility
The hardest lesson was learning that love shouldn’t hurt. With Jeff, I experienced what a healthy relationship could be, even though it wasn’t meant to last forever. He showed me what genuine care and support looked like.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
After Drew, I had to learn how to set and maintain boundaries. This meant:
– Being clear about my needs
– Not compromising my values
– Taking time to process feelings
– Learning to say no
– Protecting my peace
– Prioritizing my well-being
Self-Worth Is Everything
One of the most valuable lessons came after my return from London. I had to rebuild not just my life, but my sense of self-worth. Working with my therapist helped me understand that I deserved better than what I’d accepted in the past.
Taking Time to Heal
After each difficult relationship, I tried to jump right back in. With Roger, I moved in after just three months, only to discover he wasn’t faithful. These experiences taught me that taking time between relationships isn’t just okay – it’s necessary.
The Value of Independence
Before Romain, I learned the importance of being comfortable on my own. Even when times were tough – like working three jobs while studying for my real estate license – I discovered my own strength. This independence helped me recognize genuine love when it finally came along.
Resources that helped my journey:
Finding Real Love
When I met Romain, everything was different because I was different. I’d learned to:
– Value myself first
– Maintain my independence
– Set clear boundaries
– Trust my instincts
– Take things slowly
– Communicate honestly
Real Talk About Growth
There’s no shortcut to learning these lessons. Sometimes you have to go through difficult experiences to truly understand your worth. But you can learn to:
– Listen to your inner voice
– Stand firm in your boundaries
– Value your independence
– Take time to heal
– Choose yourself first
Looking Forward
Today, with Romain, I have a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and understanding. We support each other’s dreams while maintaining our individual identities. This balanced love wouldn’t have been possible without learning from my past experiences.
To anyone struggling in a relationship or healing from heartbreak: You deserve love that builds you up, not tears you down. Don’t be afraid to wait for what you truly deserve.
With love and understanding,
Mary 💕
